Moving to LA:
As of right now and forever, it’s not IF I’m moving, it’s WHEN.
This summer or next?
The only dilemma I have is leaving the dance studio.
Should I do it this year or next?!
I feel like everything is going crazy lately!
what do i want
what do i want
what do i want
i know what i want. but I don’t know if I’m okay with that
Terrible way to wake up and terrible thing to see right when you wake up.
-_-
Don’t you hate these days? My dream automatically put me in a bad terrible horrific mood. I feel…. Angsty.
Gotta get out of the house and off Facebook. I can’t handle that friendship.
I feel like I had a midlife crisis for a few days. At 19. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.
And then I realized that IM NINETEEN.
I have how long to know what I want to do? And maybe I’ll never know and I’ll just continue to LIVE.
What’s so wrong with not going to college? And what’s so wrong with traveling before you’ve gone to school? Or not having a “rational” set plan?
MY plan?
Travel.
Live.
Love.
See where it takes me.
And I’ll dance along the way.
My only plans I have right now: Los Angeles. That’s step one. I have a few hopes. Or things I would want accomplished. But it won’t be the end of the world if they don’t happen. Maybe I’ll go to school. Maybe I’ll find a steady job. Maybe I’ll fall in love. Maybe I’ll have to come home. Who knows!? And that is the best part of it.
It’s my life.
And I’ll be living it how I want from here on out
-.-
I sat here for a while thinking about what I wanted to say. And it still hasn’t come to me, so I figured if I rambled for a while, I would eventually get out what I want, right?
Recently, I’ve done something really stupid. And, my decision is to tell one close friend who is completely unbiased and to take her advice to heart. I am not telling anybody what happened except for her, and I plan to keep it that way. Next, my life as a girl has become yet again complicated and seriously- I just wish I was not attracted to anybody, but then.. what’s a solo wedding in disneyland goign to look like? shit. right. so, that’s not even a good suggestion. But, who says I’m going to marry anybody that I know right now? Defs not me. So, the guys. I swear, if things keep going how they’re going, I’m marrying Chris. I’ll get him drunk and make him sign the papers. He’s going to be there either way. Why not make things official and let him make my medical decisions for me when I’m in the hospital? Wow.. life just got easier. :)
But for real, nothing is coming to me. There’s something boiling inside me and I don’t want to go off at anybody. Especially to someone who doesn’t deserve it. I feel like I should be done. But, the head and the heart say two different things. And right now, it’s complicated. The heart wants you but the head says it’s the most stupid thing I could do right now. lez get stupid
Robert Pattinson: “If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.”
(Source: alelopezg, via dreamandwake)
It’s over finally
A weight has been lifted off my shoulders
Finally
I think I want to become a teacher :)
Life is hard sometimes :/
So..
Confused.
Sometimes I wish I had the upper hand, but sometimes it’s easier to just sit back and relax. Right now? Who knows.
